Today friends, I tell you the tale of a boy without whom I, and the entire BMM department, would be deprived of jokes. It would be appropriate to say that he is often the butt of several thousands of jokes from my side. In fact, I would go ahead and say that he is not only the butt of my jokes, they are also the crotch, the limbs, the facial hair and the islets of Langerhans of it.

The story goes like this.

If the legends are to be believed, Chirag has spent the first 17 years of his life without any sleep. I say this because for the last 3 years he has been making up for his gargantuan lack of sleep.

Chirag sleeps before lectures, after lectures.. and often joins us during lectures in a little game called Sleeping Without Getting Noticed. Of course, since Chirag is new to the circadian process of sleeping, he hasn't yet mastered the game of Sleeping Without Getting Noticed. In fact, he makes it a point that 90% of the people in class and 28% of the people outside the class KNOW that he is sleeping.

I know that I am not obligated to give you visual proof, but I will do so because it is funny and yet at the same time very very fundamental in understanding the phenomenon called Chirag.



Chirag has fallen asleep, or in other words - 'canned', in front of us about a million times. Everytime we're out drinking and having a good time, Chirag decides to sleep and have wet dreams about other times he slept. Once, we all were having an interesting discussion about science and chemotherapy, when Chirag canned WHILST he was in the midst of the conversation.

Okay fine, I lie. We weren't discussing science. It was more like sports.

Maria Sharapova, to be precise.

A conversation with Chirag will be something to this effect:

Me: Hey! Wanna grab a beer?

Chirag: Sure bro. Lets.

Me: Where do you wanna go?

Chirag: I donno how about that pla the whi as chee bee zzzzzzzzzz....

Me: ...... Okay, so I'll ask somebody else.


He's slept at possibly every nook and cranny of the house. Several chairs have had the pleasure of gracing Chirags arse for over 8 hours at a stretch. Once, Chirag was found - canned, obviously, on the stairs right OUTSIDE the house. We all like to believe that Chirag fell asleep WHILE he was ringing the bell to get into the house.

His annoying habit has often led to his downfall. Let's take last month, for example.

Chirag was up all night working on a presentation. Of course, for a man who hasn't slept for 17 years at a stretch, one night without sleep must be a cakewalk, right?

Wrong. Chirag, obviously weakened by the process of thinking for the presentation, fell asleep WHILE he was in the middle of the presentation.

I kid you not. He slept WHILE he was talking. His eyes closed and his coherent sentences suddenly lost the volubility and turned into sleepy murmurs. The professor of course didn't think it was funny. She yelled and Chirag of course, couldn't process the yell since he was, well, 'canned'.

The Canner Who Slept During His Presentation.

And that my friends is number 2 on the list of ten random memories I'm going to share with you about my last 3 years at BMM.